Posted by admin at December 6th, 2009

LD and I had the good fortune to get a pair of comp tickets to Cygnet Theater’s holiday show, “It’s A Wonderful Life”.  The premise was very clever.  Instead of the movie, it was a recreation of a 1940′s radio show broadcast of the movie script complete with period costumes, old fashioned microphones, hair styles and the gals even had the stockings with the seam up the back back of the leg.  It was a great production and well done.  I enjoyed the intimate space the theater offers.

At the end of the show, the cast had us all stand up and sing “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”.  When it got to the line “Through the years we all will be together if the fates allow…”, I just lost it.  The waterworks started and Chuck was in quandry over my blubbering. 

It was a rough year for me this year.  In the summer, my teaching colleague lost her son in Afghanistan.    Another teaching friend and colleague lost her son in September.   In October, I lost my friend and colleague Rick L., and then one week later, one of  my kids’ parents lost her battle to cancer. 

In  “Meet Me In St. Louis”, the MGM classic movie from which the song originates, Judy Garland’s character, Esther,  sings “Have yourself…” to her little sister Tootie, played by  Margaret O’Brien.   Judy sang, “Someday soon, we all will be together,   if the fates allow.  Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow.  So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”  “Hang a shinning star upon the highest bough” was a newer line replaced in the lyrics years after the movie release  just to make it a little less sad. 

This leads me to figuring out why I was such a mess in the theater.   

We aren’t guaranteed that our friends and family will always be together and during the holidays that reality hits very hard.  Sometimes after a terrible loss, the holidays feel like we’re muddling through them just to get by.  I thought about those faces I know so well and just teared up because I miss them.  In my own way, I’m muddling through,  feeling a little lost and very sad for all of us that are still here longing to see those we’ve come to love and cherish. 

LD is very patient however and of course, I do have him and the Blur.  My Arnayro/Karns family and the newer Hartley family will all gather for our yearly celebration in some way, shape or form.   I am looking forward to that. 

And we all will be together because the fates allow.   And for this group of people that I’ve come to know and love, I hang a shinning star on our family’s highest Christmas tree bough. 

Judy was, and is,  right.    Thank you Miss Garland.